I recently had a light bulb moment and I realized I've never really shared how Not Your Average Grandma came about. It's been sort of a long and winding road but before I start I have three questions:
Have you spent a majority of your life focused on being the best mom, like THE BEST mom in the world?
Have you spent another large portion of your life climbing the corporate ladder and trying to be the best, most fantastic worker in your company?
Have you ever woken up one day and realized you're just not happy?
If that's you then you're the reason I created this page because that was me and I remember the day that it all changed: November 3, 2006.
It’s been 11 years ago so a lot has happened since then. I'm happy to tell you that I got unstuck! I've grown & changed a lot since that day so that was really my breaking point.
I went to my now ex-husband and I told him that I wanted to end our 25-year marriage. I must tell you that that was the most difficult, heart-wrenching decision of my life, and it wasn't one that I didn't think about long and hard for several years before it happened, probably at least 3 years, and a lot of conversations that had led up to that point.
We had two children together, two wonderful daughters, the youngest had just graduated from college and I will say that no matter how old your children are, they are still deeply affected by divorce.
My two parents and his two parents, our parents, had long, long marriages so divorce was not in our vocabulary which is one of the reasons we probably stuck with it for so long. But we had come to a point where we were just basically brother and sister, and when you get to that point, you start asking "Is this the way I want to live the rest of my life?"
A passionless but ok existence because that's what it was. It was ok. And honestly I think it would have been easier to be abused and to have a reason to leave. I had none of that. I had a wonderful home and we lived the life, but when things are just ok, you are not living to your full potential, which I definitely wasn't and neither was he.
When you live with passion you live with this great potential inside of you and I wanted that. At the time we separated, I was 47, and I thought if I were 75, I’d be ok with this, but I'm 47! I have way too much life to live!!! I did not want to live an ok life. I thought, if I go searching for that and end up back here with him but more passion-filled, then great!
If our journey separately had brought us back together, I would have been fine with that, but we were both very unhappy and I was definitely the instigator of our split. And it led us both to very fulfilling lives. We are both remarried and we both have new careers. And I think we both agree that our lives separately are amazing and we are living to our full potentials because we are passion-filled.
My long and winding road led me to an old boyfriend and that romance led me to begin a brand new life in a brand new town. And while that part of my life got steamy passionate, (yay!) there was still another part, that was still just ok.
I had gained a little weight right when I hit menopause and my clothes were getting uncomfortably tight. Fortunately my daughter told me about an at-home fitness program and a shake that were the perfect answer for me.
After a few short weeks, I had lost 10 inches and a pant size and was feeling so great that I wanted other women to feel like me. I never thought in a million years I could get in the best shape of my life and do a pull-up for the first time at age 55!!! WHAT?!!!
So when that happened, I realized: if I can do this, because I am just average, other women can do this. And through this process I began using the hashtag #notyouraveragegrandma when I posted about my workouts because I no longer felt average. At that point, I realized that there was so much within me to pass along to others to empower them to become not average too.
At first it was more specifically about health and fitness but through my journey and through the work I was doing I realized that I wanted to help people on the inside. I realized my gift to the world is that I have this enthusiasm - I embrace life - even when I wasn't happy, I still always looked at the glass as half-full. I still looked at the potential in everything.
I was always a dreamer of big things, and I think that's why I didn't just settle. It was a huge risk and it was scary, so scary, because I could have lost everything. But I just had this hope and this deep-down confidence that things would work out if I followed your heart. If you walk towards what you're passionate about, things will fall into place.
I want to work with people on their inside because I found as I was going through my own journey, until you get right on the inside, you're not going to want to work on the outside. So I created a Facebook group to share what I’ve learned and pass it along, and now I’m making that into an online course. I'm going to expand on what I did in my group and make it even better.
My passion and what motivates me every day is that I now know my true purpose. As not your average grandma, I am going to spread as much positivity as I can and make sure that people know that they should never settle. No one should never settle. If you're not happy and if you're stuck - and I'm not saying go get divorced - I'm saying do something about it.
Say you're not happy and at least get it out there in the open. I changed my life, my marriage, and my career. I didn’t let middle age hold me back. I didn’t stay stuck because it was the comfortable thing to do.
I had been in a very solid career lasting 25+ years and I just walked away from it and started from scratch. If you follow your heart and your dreams, then the sky is the limit.
I want women to know they are strong and they are capable. You have a reason you are here. You have a purpose in life and it's your responsibility to find it!
I want you to know if you're stuck, I get it. I was there! And it is for you that I created this blog and website and why I work every day to help women like you.
Know that you have a friend in me, someone who will encourage you to get unstuck and find your passion in life. I am with you. I know what you are going through. And I know you will come out better on the other side.
Now go and put a twinkle in your wrinkle! :D