Overwhelmed Winger
You are what I call an Overwhelmed Winger and although you love winging your way through life and may even celebrate the fact that you don’t plan anything because you see planning as too time-consuming and structured, the fact you don’t plan could be keeping you from deeper fulfillment in your life.
The problem many Overwhelmed Wingers have is the belief that having a plan takes more time than not having one and it boxes them to some degree, threatening their spontaneity which they treasure so dearly. But the truth is that a lack of preparation often leads to feelings of overwhelm because it’s very stressful operating from an interrupt-driven state of mind.
So that is the fulfillment challenge most Overwhelmed Wingers face... Could it be that you have beliefs about planning that are actually limiting your ability to find true fulfillment and that if you got to the bottom of these beliefs, you’d unlock a new way to achieve exciting new goals?
Read on to see if the empty nester role of Overwhelmed Winger resonates with you...
The Overwhelmed Winger loves to be spontaneous and gets energized by spur-of-the-moment activity. She is the kind of person who is always ready at the drop of a dime to go on an adventure, even if it’s just to grab a coffee with a friend at Starbucks.
She has no problem with people dropping in for a visit with no advance warning and when they do, she welcomes them in with open arms because her schedule is typically very flexible.
This may have been developed as an adaptive skill back when she was playing her mom role because, as you know, kids’ schedules are always changing so managing and adjusting to the constant influx of spur-of-the-moment invites from friends, along with regular and extracurricular school activities, is an environment where the Overwhelmed Winger flourishes.
So winging it is a comfortable space to live in, but what usually happens from continuing to operate this way is that there is no structure that allows any space for establishing goals that are aligned with your heart’s desires and consequently no consideration about what steps to take towards any goals.
I hate to break it to you but winging your way through life and being careless with your valuable time does not bring true fulfillment. When you run from one spur-of-the-moment activity to the next you run a very high risk of pushing the opportunity to find that long-lasting, “my cup is never empty” feeling further away because you are too focused on the immediate, short-term, feel-good moments that only last for the short time you are in them.
With this newfound awareness, you can now begin to see how your winging-it approach to life IS the very thing that is causing resistance to developing a life-changing and soul-connecting plan of action. And probably resulting in a lot of stress and feelings of overwhelm in the process!
Perhaps, like me, you tried planning in the past and it didn’t work, or you witnessed someone else who was important to you spend time planning, but it didn’t work for them either. If either of these scenarios is true, then it’s clear why you’d be resistant to planning!
But the one question that must be asked is: Was that plan developed with complete alignment with the person’s deep-down heart’s desires? Or was it a plan developed to impress or please someone else - a plan based on “I should...” instead of “I want…”?
My guess is that you probably avoid planning because you just don’t understand that planning will force you to carve out the necessary time needed to tap into that which gives you joy. The truth is that taking the time to sit down and make a plan won’t kill your dreams but NOT having a plan will.
You don’t have to completely give up your winging ways because we all know that being spontaneous is good for the soul! You just have to set aside a little time each week to first make a plan and then write down what intentional action you’re gonna take so you can make progress on that plan.
But there are likely deeper-rooted reasons for why you avoid planning which is probably making you feel a little stuck, so continuing to take positive action by gaining more knowledge is the best way you can accelerate the path to more fulfillment.
One action I recommend is to seek out like-minded women your age who will inspire you to set goals and make a plan - women who have similar values and are doing things you'd like to do. Find them on social media, in books, and on podcasts. Look around and make it a fun research project!
I also suggest you find authorities on planning for success so you can begin building that skill. Check out the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.
If you like what you've heard so far from me, you may want to tune into my podcast, "Living Your Sparked Second Half," where I interview women who have found unexpected fulfillment in their second half of life and hear how they made that happen.
Click the link below to check out my latest episodes. 👇
