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The Scariest Day of My Life

divorce fear love midlife scary Nov 03, 2019

November 3rd, 2006... The day I decided to leave my comfort zone.

I will never forget it. Partly because it is in legal documents, but mostly because it was the day I had been scared of for so long.

I had thought about it for years actually but fear kept me stuck and in denial and in a place where I never want to be again. A place where I felt trapped and without choice.

So today is the day I chose. The day I chose me. The day I chose to accept my failure as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, as a daughter-in-law, and as a sister-in-law.

I chose the dissolution of my 25 year marriage.

I tried so hard for so long to make it work. Counseling, conversation, talking myself into and out of things countless times. Convincing myself it was ok. Telling myself that we don't fight - we get along. Telling myself I made vows I can't break. Telling myself I can't hurt those I love.

But I was hurting myself. And by doing that, I was hurting the ones I loved because I wasn't living my truth and...

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