November 3rd, 2006... The day I decided to leave my comfort zone.
I will never forget it. Partly because it is in legal documents, but mostly because it was the day I had been scared of for so long.
I had thought about it for years actually but fear kept me stuck and in denial and in a place where I never want to be again. A place where I felt trapped and without choice.
So today is the day I chose. The day I chose me. The day I chose to accept my failure as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, as a daughter-in-law, and as a sister-in-law.
I chose the dissolution of my 25 year marriage.
I tried so hard for so long to make it work. Counseling, conversation, talking myself into and out of things countless times. Convincing myself it was ok. Telling myself that we don't fight - we get along. Telling myself I made vows I can't break. Telling myself I can't hurt those I love.
But I was hurting myself. And by doing that, I was hurting the ones I loved because I wasn't living my truth and...
I friggin' just took action on the 2nd scariest thing I've ever done in my entire 60 years on Earth!!!
I had SO.MUCH.FEAR about this but I did it anyway!
You want to know why?
Because on the other side of fear is growth, adventure and magic! ALWAYS!!!
I took this scary action because the desire to do it was coming from my heart.... It was an inner voice thing, from deep inside of me. It's hard to explain but it just felt good - even though it scared the s*** out of me!
Being scared doesn't mean it's not right. Fear comes from doing something that you've never done before and usually what your conscious brain (ego) is trying to convince you not to do because it feels unsafe.
You see, your brain tries to keep you in your comfort zone because doing something that you've not done before, and which has a lot of fuzziness around it, does not fall into the safe category according to your logical brain.
I KNOW THIS because I teach it; however, that doesn't mean it comes any easier to...
Beginning my day by writing down what I'm grateful for has been a game-changer.
I started this daily activity just a little over a year ago and now have a whole journal filled with gratitude! I love the mental state it puts me in before I start my day.
If you'd like to know the other daily practices I do that are a part of my "Morning Mojo Mindset," click on the link below to learn more about them & why I do them.
Most people believe that when you reach a certain age, it’s too late to find the purpose for why you are here… and that, by midlife, you certainly can’t start from scratch and earn a living fulfilling that purpose.
Unfortunately most people spend their whole lives doing the only job they think they can do, whether it’s what their parents told them to do, what their parents did, or what they are good at, but it’s not what they love. It’s not what fills them with passion. Then they get to midlife and are unfulfilled, but they feel it’s too late to make any changes for reasons like: “I'm too old!” “I’m too busy!” or “It will take too much money!”
I totally get it! It’s so easy to sit inside our little comfort zones and keep doing what we’ve always done! I did that myself, until, at age 55, I stumbled upon something else that lit me up inside!
Click here to watch the full video.
I’m sure you’ve heard the common phrase: “Transformation happens from the inside out” but I’m here to call bullcrap on that!
It’s bullcrap because who in the heck has the desire or the confidence to work on their inside when they feel terrible on the outside?!?!
Unfortunately all those male “experts” out there who are telling us to work on our insides, have never dealt with menopause or bat wings!!! I actually had a client tell me that when she complained about her bloated belly, her male doctor told her that unfortunately that’s just a part of menopause.
That’s funny. I’ve had a bit of a pot belly my whole life (pre-menopause) yet my stomach got the flattest it’s ever been at age 55 after intensifying my exercise routine and improving my nutrition. And it wasn’t until I began to see results in the process of that transformation that I even considered the inside needed a transformation too!
Most people think success is inevitable once you have a goal and a plan.
They’ve put that goal, front & center, on their Vision Board, and they are taking action on it. But it’s just not happening!!!
In fact, it’s been on multiple vision boards and now they feel like a failure because they haven’t been able to achieve it.
Unfortunately they are missing ONE KEY INGREDIENT that will make that goal a reality...
And that is BELIEF!
If most people spent all day working toward a goal but don't believe it will happen, do you really think it will?
Look at Olympic medalists! Do you think they focused only on the actions towards their goal and didn't believe it could happen? No! In fact, I’ve seen numerous interviews with coaches, trainers, and even players in a variety of sports who said the key to their success was due to adopting the practice of visualization and belief into their training.
If you’re anything like me, switching off...
Thinking menopause is the main reason for the sad shape you are in is one of the worst midlife mindsets you can have. I know this because I used to have that mindset!
So many women think that way because when we are struggling with weight gain or lack of energy, we need an excuse. And that mindset is compounded when we get around like-minded peers who buy into this belief, which further validates to us that menopause is the culprit!!!
But will an excuse get you to a better mindset and ultimately the solution you need? Not at all!
Whether your excuse is time, money, OR menopause, none of them will help you get into those old size 8 jeans folded at the bottom of your drawer or give you the energy you need to go on all of the fun rides with your grandchildren at Disney World.
Is every menopausal woman out of shape and overweight? Heck no!!! I can name several who look amazing: Jane Fonda at 80, Sandra Bullock at 54, Christie Brinkley at 64, Diane Keaton at 72, and Kim...
I was inspired to share something I learned over the weekend.
First let me give you a little context...
My husband & I went to Arkansas for 5 days on a trip that my husband and I have been asked to go on for 10 years. We were visiting my husband’s best friend (and locker partner) from 8th grade where he's made his home since graduating from law school back in the 80s.
Since my husband and I dated in college, his friend and I go back a few years too. And we see his friend once or twice a year when he comes to visit his mom & sister who lives near us. For 10 years, he has asked us to come visit him at his home in Arkansas.
We've always made excuses for not being able to take the trip:
But finally, this year, we decided to MAKE THE TIME to take the trip. And what happened was magical.
This trip turned...
Many of my followers have heard my story of how my husband and I rekindled our relationship after being apart for 27 years.
Some day I'll write a book, as many have suggested, but until then, I'll keep documenting our continuing story through blog posts like this.
We just surpassed a big milestone - our 10th wedding anniversary! We celebrated by taking a fabulous 3 night trip to the Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia. (If you've never been there, GO! You can check it out here: https://www.greenbrier.com/)
It's hard to believe 10 years has passed so quickly, and easily! By this point in my first marriage, I had already been through a very rocky period and several visits to a therapist. When I compare the past 10 years to the first 10 of my last marriage, this one has been a breeze and it just keeps getting better.
People say marriage takes hard work. Well, I don't buy that because that hasn't been the case for me! I worked REALLY HARD in my first...
So you love and swear by To-Do lists, but for some reason, you never seem to make progress on your goals. Hmmmm. Interesting! Well I’m here to explain why….
First off, let me guess... You are a go-getter. You describe yourself as Type A and an overachiever. And you wear those labels probably because it implies you get a lot of s#!$ done.
And you get butterflies in your stomach (the excited kind) when you go by the journal section at Home Goods! You just have to have that cute notebook for your To-Do lists! It even has check boxes built in!!!
Well just because you love to-do lists and checkboxes, doesn't mean you are effective at putting the RIGHT THINGS on them! Take it from me, who's been a master at checking off checkboxes - just because you are madly checking off boxes, don't fool yourself into thinking you are on your way to making your dreams come true.
Yeah, checking off boxes feels good in the moment but it's like that bowl of ice cream you...